Rockist Exam, Part I

In what I hope will be a recurring series here, below you'll find a series of questions I am posing to my fellow Rockists. I'll ask, they'll both answer, and then we'll move on to the next question.

1. If your wife was going to cheat on you with one of the Beatles (in their prime), which one would you prefer it be?

Rob: Ringo. Did he ever have a prime?

G.L.: I'd have to say George. I think he'd be the least disease-ridden, you know, down there.


2. Would you rather have a few beers with:

a) Isaac Brock of Modest Mouse
b) Ben Bridwell of Band of Horses
c) Britt Daniel of Spoon
d) Patterson Hood of The Drive-By Truckers
e) Craig Finn of the Hold Steady

Rob: e) But only while walking around.

G.L.: I'd like to say Isaac Brock, but I'd be seriously concerned for my safety. Dude's weird. So, it's Craiggers for me, too.


3. True/False: Wilco will one day be inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame.

Rob: False. Well, at least not while Tweedy is alive. His head may literally explode.

G.L.: False, unfortunately.


4. True/False: Jeff Tweedy will act like he doesn't care about being snubbed by the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame.

Rob: True.

G.L.: I think a better one would have been, "If Wilco are somehow inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, Jeff Tweedy will act like he doesn't care." True.


5. Where would you rather spend Memorial Day weekend?

a) an Octopus' garden
b) a yellow submarine
c) in the sky, with diamonds
d) back in the USSR

Rob: d) Who likes bread and milk? Not this guy.

G.L.: Only with Maxwell's silver hammer (and sickle), right? But seriously, an Octopus' garden. Depending on the shade of course.


6. How do you feel about world music?

Rob: Isn't all music world music? Why do ugly people who can't write songs get the whole genre?

G.L.: I guess I like a lot of things that could be considered world music, but I think I see what you're getting at. Those afro-cuban-psyche-flamenco albums that they sell at Starbucks make me want to barf.


7. Which of the following musicians googles him or herself most often:

a) Jeff Tweedy of Wilco
b) Bob Pollard, formerly of Guided by Voices
c) Will Sheff of Okkervil River
d) Chan Marshall, aka Cat Power
e) Anton Newcombe of The Brian Jonestown Massacre
f) Neko Case, of the New Pornographers (when she feels like it)

Rob: c) But only to see if the blogs are commenting positively on his bangs.

G.L.: Gotta be Chan Marshall.


Better band name:

8. The Kinks or The Kingsmen

Rob: The Kingsmen

G.L.: The Kinks.


9. Someone Still Loves You Boris Yeltsin or Clap Your Hand Say Yeah

Rob: SSLYBY

G.L.: Same here. Better name, better band.


10. Ra Ra Riot or Ra Ra Rasputin

Rob: Both are Ra Ra Retarded.

G.L.: Who? We're way to cool to be talking about either of these bands.


11. The Knobs or The Slits

Rob: Seriously, GH?

G.L.: Push.


12. The Bad Livers or The Drive-By Truckers

Rob: DBT, but only because we're seeing them tonight. (Answered 5/9/08)

G.L.: The Truckers, hands down.