For fun I thought I'd throw together a bunch of McSweeney's rockist-oriented lists, and quote my favorites from each one. It's a slow, drizzly Friday here in Old Town, I'm still not moving too much after knee surgery, so why the hell not. There are a thousand of these things, so feel free to stick your favorite rockist-oriented list links in the comments.
Progressive Rock Fans are Terrible Trash-Talkers
("You're gonna need so many transfusions that only King Crimson will have benefited more by the influx of new blood. Seriously, don't you think it was like a whole new band when Adrian Belew joined?")
The Songs of Lenin and McCarthy
(Lenin: "All You Need is State")
Ways I've Let Down Popular Musicians
("Got together with only a few people, made no effort to love one another, received awkward phone call from the Youngbloods. ")
My Nonprofit R&B Group's Setlist
("I Wanna Name a Park After U")
Titles of Songs From Pet Sounds,Translated In and Out of Japanese by GoogleTranslate
("You Know God Simply")
If the Beatles Were Born Today
Band Names Rejected by the Smashing Pumpkins
("Drinking Schnapps")
Bruce Springsteen Songs, If the Title More Accurately Reflected the Subject Matter
("You Were Once Attractive, but I Have Grown Weary of Your Company, Even Though I Have Not Forgotten That Previously We Had a Meaningful and Romantic Courtship")
Brian Wilson's First Five Suggestionsfor the Name of the Album That Would Be Called Pet Sounds
Song Ideas for My Next Album
("A song about a really cool chick and how she turns me on")
Disingenuous Reasons for Band Names ('70s Edition)
("AC/DCConnotes power. Found on back of guitarist's sister's sewing machine")
UPDATE:
Information Leafblower mastermind Kyle pointed out to me that I missed one of the best:
Song Titles, Before Editing forLanguage Efficiency and Clarity
("Baby, You Hit Me Once, and When You Did, All I Could Think Was That I Would Relish Your Doing It Once More")
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